Change in the Wind

I’m considering going back to school to get my Bachelor’s degree. I’ve always wanted to do this but the last decade or so has been almost overwhelming, and it was a struggle to merely keep my head above water for a long time. I’m far from fixed, and I have my issues, but I think it’s time to fulfill this dream. It will probably be an online program because I don’t know if I can handle campus chaos, but hey — an achievement is an achievement, no? How we get to where we need to be may not be how we imagined it, but the journey can be fulfilling and satisfying anyway.

(I think the neighbor is rearranging, at 4:30 in the morning….don’t ask me why I’m still awake because I can’t say except to note that my mind won’t shut up again. I keep hearing scraping and moving sounds over on the other side of the wall,)

It’s getting cooler here and fall is definitely in the air. After 3 winters in Florida I have the feeling Missouri is going to kick my backside once again. Hopefully this will be my last year here for a while, if all goes as planned. I’m looking into getting a house with my daughter and her family in another state because they can’t afford what they need on their income, and I need to be around people whether I like it or not. Their family respects my introversion when I choose to be alone in my room or go on a trip by myself, but they also provide me with a sense of belonging and companionship I can’t get when I’m living on my own. Yes, they’re amazingly loud at times, but that’s what headphones are for, right? I stayed with them a bit over the winter and early spring and we did okay….as long as they respect my need for privacy when I shut my door and I give them space when it’s necessary, we should get along fine. Families in other parts of the world make this work all the time. We can do it, too. Multi-generational living has definite advantages. It’s not perfect, but life isn’t either.

God has been good to me. Bumps, bruises, pain, loss….it’s all in His hands and He can make something good from even the worst that happens to us if we allow Him to move in our lives. Yes, I’ve had it rough at times, but other people have gone through much more for longer and they survived. I’m tenacious, determined, and willing to go with the flow to get where I need to be. Hopefully I’ll be an inspiration to someone else who just might need to hear that our past doesn’t dictate our future if we can let go of the pain and stop the negativity that wants to pull us under.

I’m not perfect. I’m a work in progress just like everyone else. I have a bit of a different viewpoint than a lot of folks, but that’s part of who I am. I’m not tied to places or belongings, but to my God and what He has for me even when I have no idea what that is or how I’m going to get there. That’s faith. I trust that when He calls me to step out, there will be ground under my feet or He will help me fly. What more do I really need? He’s gotten me this far and He isn’t about to let go now.

Opportunities

Life has a way of challenging us. It tasks us to grow, develop character, and allow things to happen in order to make us into better people. If we choose not to accept this opportunity, we can become bitter, angry, and resentful.

Simply put, things happen to everyone. Cars break down. Jobs are lost. Homes sell or need major repairs. Kids and adults get sick, need glasses or braces, or require surgery. Natural disasters destroy possessions and sometimes take lives. What you do when this happens to you determines how your life will develop. You can look for ways to make good from bad, or you can let it eat you alive.


I’ve seen what happens when someone decides that everything bad happening to them is a personal attack. This person became almost intolerable to deal with as they ranted against nature, against previous spouses and grown children, and blamed God for things that were occurring all around them every day all over the world to thousands if not millions of other people. They allowed circumstances to dictate how they lived instead of responding to those happenings by making the best of it and seeking to glean positive from negative.

I’m sitting at the car dealership as I’m typing this up. I brought my car back to Florida to sell it and pick up a van so I can fulfill a dream….I want to travel the country on my own terms, living on my own, taking my time and not being tied down to any possessions beyond what I need to survive. The car had other plans. The mass air flow sensor is shot, and I can’t take it to the dealer I’m selling it to while I know something is wrong with it. Now hopefully the significant cost is covered by warranty, but if not, I’ll pony up the funds to pay. This is part of living as a Christian with integrity and honesty; I can’t just pass off something defective as if it’s perfectly good. If it costs me several hundred dollars, so be it. It’s only money. Was this in my plan? Heck no…..by this time today I was supposed to be loading the stuff from my storage unit into the back of the van with my grandson so we could leave tonight and head back to Missouri. Instead, we’re sitting here waiting for an unexpected repair. There’s a reason for it – there always is. Maybe there’s an accident on the road and we missed it because we were here. Perhaps this is God’s way of making me sit still for a purpose I won’t discover until I see Him face to face. It’s not my job to try and figure all this stuff out….what is my responsibility is doing the best I can with what I’ve been given, and not letting this like this get me all stressed out and angry.

I need to ask myself at the end of every day if I’ve lived it to the glory of God to the best of my ability. That doesn’t mean I’m perfect; in fact, I’m far from it. I’m weak, subject to doubt and insecurity just like the next person. However, I know where my hope lies, and it’s not in a car, bank account, or timetable. God is my source, not man or technology or circumstances. Every crisis or unexpected situation is a chance for growth and character development if I will be open to that possibility. That’s my goal….to see what He wants me to see in whatever presents itself as I walk through this life. With His help, I can be a positive influence on those around me not only by what I say and do, but by how I act when life throws me curve balls and knocks me flat on my back. It’s not about falling….it’s about getting up, and if not in my own strength, with the strength of the One who created the planets, stars, and every living thing.  As long as I keep my eyes on Him this will all work out the way it should. It’s when I get in the way that things get dicey.

God is good all the time, even when life doesn’t go as planned. His ways are higher. He sees the end from the beginning. If we could just remember that, it would make life a lot better…….

©2019