You Are Enough.

Those of us who experienced abuse in childhood or marriage – whether verbal, physical, sexual, psychological, or any combination thereof – often struggle with feelings of inadequacy, self-criticism, self-hatred, doubt, fear, and even self-condemnation. We need to remember that Jesus bled and died for us, too. He was with us through those times, holding us up with His hand, because He loves us. He knows how we struggle to reconcile the concept of a loving, caring Father with the examples we were exposed to. He is aware of how it skewed our thinking and caused us to struggle more than others with seeing Him as One who accepts us as we are, not the way someone else thinks we should be. He hears our cries in the darkness, is fully cognizant of our tormented minds, and stands with us as we battle the forces that would cause us to get so mired down by the treatment we endured that we would even give up on our hopes and dreams. His will for us is victory, confidence, and the assurance we are His chosen children – not in spite of, but sometimes even because of our scars. We are fighters. We survived sometimes hellish circumstances, things we never told anyone else, and we came out on the other side with a tenacity and a strength known only by those who endure this kind of hardship.

What you have been through has made you especially capable and competent at ministering to others in pain. You know what it’s like to be afraid to speak loudly, to draw attention to yourself, to be an individual, and you can see it in others. The compassion engendered by your experiences was given to you for a reason. It’s not just there for you to acknowledge, but it’s been given to you so that you can minister to others who are going through or have been through similar circumstances. Someone who has never been abused can feel sorry for what a survivor is struggling with, but they just don’t know how it feels. You know because you’ve been there. You recognize the downturned gaze, the self-deprecation, the avoidance of personal talk, the attempts to be invisible; they are as familiar to you as your own skin. I can recognize an abused woman or child a mile away. It shouts the story in how they walk, carry themselves, talk, and even dress. The scramble to pacify, the constant need for reassurance that they’re good enough, the reluctance to speak about what they’re enduring is like red graffiti on a white wall. Because you’ve been there, you see what others don’t. You get them. This gives you an unique opportunity to minister to them from experience, not just what you’ve been taught in a class, read in a book, or heard second-hand.

We often look at the struggles in our lives and ask God, “Why is this happening to me?” The question itself isn’t as important as the reason behind asking it. We can have one of two attitudes when posing this query:

  • Why me? What did I do to deserve this? How can a loving God allow anyone to endure such trauma?
  • How is this trial preparing me for my calling? What can I learn from it? How can I apply the strength I gained coming through this experience to benefit the kingdom of God?

How we look at living as a human being in a world full of sin affects our response to the circumstances we find ourselves in. Unfortunately, being finite often leaves us seeing only our immediate situation; it’s like viewing a quilt from the point of view of a single piece of fabric or listening to a symphony from the third violist’s chair. We can’t see our lives like God sees them. We simply aren’t created with that capability. This is where faith comes in. We have to choose to trust Him to lead us through what will shape us into the person He intended us to be. Sometimes this means walking in darkness, trusting Him to guide us. It may require us to lay down things we want to do or be in order to receive His best for us, even if we don’t understand it at the time. For abuse survivors, this kind of trust can be really difficult. Victimization can lead to a whole mess of thought processes capable of interfering with letting go of what we think is good and right. We may fear more than just the loss of control, and justifiably so; vulnerability has betrayed us in the past, and we are leery of yielding that kind of power to anyone else, even God. In fact, it may take us much longer to learn to put our confidence in His desire for our good. This explains, in a way, why the faith of those who have suffered abuse may be much stronger; for us to get to the point where we can yield our will and desire for self-protection to someone else requires a decision not reached without much internal conflict, and one that will not be easily challenged or abandoned. I may at times doubt my ability to do what God has called me to do, but I am never dubious about His love for me. In fact, it has been the only thing I had to hold on to more than once. In the middle of everything I’ve been through, He has been the constant I could rely on – even when I was so mired in misery I wondered if I should just give in. This knowledge has been my anchor, my rock, my confidence when everything else was falling to pieces around me. I am sure of this: no matter what I’m going through, I am never alone. I may not be happy, healthy, wealthy, or successful in the eyes of the world, but God has a plan for me that will bring Him glory no matter how weak or frail I am, or how many times I fall.

No matter what anybody else tells you, what and who you are is exactly what and who you were created to be. You may have made mistakes, or fallen, or rebelled….but God knew all that when He created you, and He loves you anyway. Don’t let those lies imprison you. Remember, He knew you before He laid the foundations of the world, and He would not have you be anyone but who you are. Never forget that.

©2018

Part of Me

Long ago,
when I formed you
in your mother’s womb,
I placed
a piece of Myself
inside you.

I have been with you
since your conception.
I was there
as your organs formed,
as your fingers and toes
took shape.
I determined
the color of your eyes
and
the sound of your voice.
I was the one
Who decided
what you would
look like today.

Nothing
that has happened to you
has been hidden from Me.
I have seen
what was done in the open
as well as
in the hidden places,
the places
others thought
nobody would ever find.
I have shared with you
every moment
of every day
of your life.
None of it has been
hidden from
My watchful eye.
Nothing you have endured
has come as a surprise
to Me.

When necessary,
I have intervened –
Informed the enemy,
“Enough. This far
and no further
will you go.
This child is Mine.
The mark is there,
clear to see.
Take your hands off.”

I have watched
as your character formed,
as the pressures of living
forged in you
a strength
that an easy life
would have left you
deprived of.
And,
though the furnace
was hot,
the heat was
always controlled
by my hand.
Never too much,
never too little;
always just enough
to shape you
into the person
I knew you could be.
Strong, reliable,
trustworthy –
yet still dependent on Me.

And now,
today,
I hold in My hand
the desire of your heart.
It is there,
but you must
reach out and take it.
Do you really want it?
It will cost you –
some will not understand,
others will be jealous;
you may not even
comprehend for yourself why –
it is because
I have placed it within you.

Look and see
what I have for you.
It is a blessing,
meant for you
and no one else.

Do you trust Me?
What I have for you
is a good thing,
I will say it again –
it is a good thing.

Take hold of the blessing.
It is there for you,
And it is a good thing.

©1998

Your Heart

I am doing a work
in your heart.
There are
scarred areas,
wounds from
deep-seated
hurts and fears…..
I am healing them.

I am ever so gently
removing the dead tissue
and replacing it
with flesh that is
alive,
feeling,
breathing.

I am taking away
the dead parts
that have
withered and
shriveled up from
lack of use,
lack of feeling,
and putting My love
in their place.

I am dealing with
and healing hurts,
fears,
insecurities,
and wrong ways
of thinking
that were put there
by those who hurt you
and replacing them
with thoughts of
righteousness,
purity,
holiness and
wholeness.

It is time to
say goodbye
to the past
and to set
your eyes forward –
toward what I have
for your future.

Don’t limit Me
with your mind,
with your thinking.
Keep your eyes open,
watching for the blessings
that are coming
your way.

Raise your
expectations.
Don’t hesitate to
reach for the stars.
I have put them
within your grasp.

Hold on tight
to the promises
I have given you;
yet –
don’t limit Me
only to those promises.
I have
much more for you
if you will only
prepare to receive it.

Trust Me with your heart.

©1998

Blessings

Blessings
upon blessings
upon blessings
upon blessings
upon blessings.

I am going
to bless you
more deeply,
more thoroughly,
more intensely
than you ever
thought possible.

Open your hands.
I am going to fill them
over
and over
and over again
until there is
no more room.
No more room.
Not anywhere.
No more room.

Open your heart.
I am going to fill it
with more love
than you thought
you would,
could,
should ever have.
You will have to share it.
You won’t be
able to contain it.
It will overtake you.
It will surprise you.
It will astound you.
And it will lead you
to do things you
never thought you would do.

Open your mind.
I am going to renew it.
I will put
creative ideas,
anointed thoughts,
purposes and plans
straight from the Throne Room
into your being.
You will see
as you’ve never seen before.
You will understand
like you’ve never understood before.
My ideas
will become yours.
My plans and thoughts
will become yours.
And you will become Mine.

Make yourself ready.
The doors of heaven
are fixing to open
and shower
blessing
upon blessing
upon blessing
upon blessing
upon blessing
all over you.

It’s beginning
even now.
Are you ready?
Are you believing?
Are you expecting?

©1998

Let Me

Let Me love you.
Let go of the past
and all it means to you,
the good and the bad.
There is nothing
you can do
to change what was.
It happened.
It’s over.
It is part
of who you are now,
but it does not
have to affect
who you will be.
Give it
into My hands;
let Me heal
the hurts and scars,
and remove the pain.

Let Me love you.
Let go of the future
and all it may hold for you.
Plan to live
daily.
Leave room for Me
to move in your live
and to direct your steps.
Don’t be afraid;
what I have for you
is good.
There is
no room for fear
in My love.

Let me love you.
Let go of the now.
Let Me touch your heart
in ways and places
you’ve never
let Me touch you before.
Let Me open
your eyes
to the wonder
of My love for you.

Let me love others
through you.
Rest in me.
Take joy in
My presence in your life.
Let My love
surround you,
unfold you,
sweep you away.
Stay sensitive
to My voice.
Reach out for
My hand, and
let Me lead you
into My glory.
Don’t try to
reason it out –
it is too big
for your reason.
Just listen.
Yield.
Obey.
Love Me.

And……

Let Me love you.

©1998

How Much?

How much do
you love Me?
Enough to
abandon yourself
wholeheartedly to
My will for
your life?
Enough to
walk in
My love
every minute,
every day?
Enough to show
My love to
each person
I bring
across your
path in life?
Enough to
look past
the outside
of those people
to what I have placed
on the inside of them?
How much do you love Me?

All I ask of you
is all.
All you have,
all you are,
all you hope,
all you dream;
your plans,
goals,
ambitions,
desires,
expectations,
and even
your fears.
Give them
all
to Me.
Lay them
on the altar
of My love
for you –
and see
what I
will do
with them
and do
for you.

How much
do you trust Me?
Enough to
step out in
uncharted territory,
places you said –
or thought —
you’d never go?
Enough to
reach out and
take hold of
that which
scares you
in the
natural
if I would
ask you to?
Enough to
abandon your
fears based on
what happened
before
to you or to
others you know?
How much do you trust Me?

With what will
you trust Me?
Will you give Me
your hopes for
ministry?
Will you let Me
shape
the direction
of your life?
Will you
surrender
your dreams
and your ambitions
to My will?
Will you
believe
that I know
what is best
for your life
and accept
what I place
in your path
as a good thing
and a blessing?
With what will you trust Me?

It’s simple, really;
yet it is
the hardest thing
you will
ever do.
It will take
more effort
than anything
you’ve ever done.
It will take
your pride,
and replace it
with humility.
It will take
your fears,
and replace them
with
lasting peace.
So, I ask again;
How much do
you trust Me?
With what will
you trust Me?
How much do
you love Me?
It’s up to you……

©1998

For You

The God of all creation –
the One who spoke the universe
into existence;
Who placed the stars
in the heavens
and the fish
in the deeps of the sea;
Who lovingly
fashioned the delicate rose petal
as well as
the majestic elephant;
Who set the earth
in motion, giving us
time and seasons,
day and night;
Who initiated
the gentle whisper
of a spring breeze
and the fury
of the hurricane;
Who gave us
the splendor of the sunrise
and the beauty
of the twilight –
He did it all for you.

Your Father
created the earth
and the things in it
for you to enjoy.

He loves to hear
your laughter,
to see the twinkle
in your eyes
and the smile
on your face;
He also understands
tears of joy,
discovery,
and wonder.

He did not make you
a mindless automaton
to wander
blindly
through each day,
ignorant of your
surroundings.
He wants you to look,
to see,
to touch,
to feel,
to hold,
to taste,
to smell,
to take in
all He has done
for you.
He wants you
to live.
He wants you
to share
what He has done
for you
so it can bring
pleasure
to others.

So –
enjoy His creation;
drink deeply of life.
Reach out with
both hands and
take what He offers you.
And, as you share
what you have
been given,
it will increase
and multiply
and become more
than you ever
dreamed it could.

It’s just beginning……

©1998

Vision

Come with me for a moment.
I want to show you something:

In the corner of a room in Heaven,
there is a window
through which shines
the light of Jesus.
The room itself is
nothing special
as rooms go –
the paint is
pale yellow;
the floor is
polished oak;
there are no
curtains at the
windows.
In that one corner,
there sits a
rocking chair.
It is one of the
old,
big,
comfy ones,
with plenty of
big pillows on it.
In the chair
sits the Father
of us all.
In His arms
is a tiny baby;
He is lovingly
rocking, caressing,
caring for this child.
He meets all the infant’s needs –
food,
clothing,
even diaper changes.

As time passes,
the baby grows
into a child
and does
what children do –
running off to explore,
yet returning frequently
to make sure
Daddy
Is still there.
The child requires
discipline
at times, and it is
lovingly administered
in a way
that will
mold and shape this child
in the proper way.
When the child
falls, or gets hurt,
the Father’s lap –
in the rocking chair –
is still there.
It never
goes away.

More time goes by,
and the child grows
into a young adult.
What the child has
been taught
is now part of
this older one –
character,
personality –
strengths and
weaknesses,
all part of a
work in progress.
Communication with
the Father is
on a higher level now,
with not such a need
for physical reassurance.
Yet, when the need
arises,
the Father is still there,
in His rocking chair.
His lap is never too small,
the child never too big
to sit
and be comforted
and caressed
with healing hands.
While still a parent,
the relationship the Father
has with the child now
includes friendship and
intimacy,
birthed from
experience
and trust
and built
through the years.

The young adult is now
a man.
He can stand on his own.
He can be counted on.
The Father can
use him
to fulfill a purpose,
a calling,
a plan –
one ordained from the start.
Still –
the chair is there,
in the corner
of the room
in Heaven,
and when the man
is hurting,
God is there
to comfort
and heal
and care.

Wait – I can see the man’s face –

It’s you!

©1998

Potential

You have amazing potential
in the eyes of God.
He looks at you
and sees
all you can be
if you will yield
to His leading.

Oh!
The things He has for you…
the blessings,
the anointing,
the joy,
the fulfillment
that waits for you
in the plan of God!

Don’t settle for less
than His best for you.
Hold out
for all His grace provides.
He will touch you, shape you,
mold you, use you, and
bless others through you.

Let Him show you
all He has for you.
Let Him guide
each and every stop
you take.
Let Him touch your heart,
heal your mind,
mend your spirit,
give you all you need
to do
what He has placed
in your heart to do.

Don’t limit His love for you,
His working in you,
His anointing on you,
His blessings toward you.
Keep your eyes on Him.
Make it your goal to
fall deeper and deeper
in love with Him,
seek His face,
live in His presence,
sit at His feet.

Reach for His hand,
take it and
walk with Him
in the direction
He will show you.
For where you would stop,
camp,
even build a house,
He will say,
“Keep going. I have
more for you. Do not
settle for mediocrity.”
Keep dreaming!
Never lose the vision
He has given you.
Keep your eyes on
the prize
and you will find
there is much more
between here and there
than you ever
imagined.
Look for it,
wait for it,
expect it!

It’s there for you.

©1998

Prayer

I prayed for you today.

I prayed that God would
bless you with His power
and touch the very core of your being
with an overwhelming awareness of
who He is.

I prayed for
prosperity,
peace,
creative ideas
and supernatural ability;
that you can do more
in less time
and be less tired when you’re done.

I prayed for favor
as you deal with those
you do business with.

I prayed for
a financial miracle,
a breakthrough
into God-granted abundance.

I prayed that you would
walk in peace and harmony
with His will for your life.

I prayed for
intimacy between you and God
like you have never known.
I asked Him to
surround you,
immerse you,
wash you in His love.

I prayed for
emotional wholeness
and peace.

I found myself
praying over and over
for blessings
to come on you,
rest on you,
stay on you,
surround you,
and follow you.

I prayed you would be blessed
rising up and lying down,
coming in and going out,
as you sleep, and
when you’re awake.

I prayed
for health
and wholeness
and grace
and power
and anointing.

I prayed that God would make
His thoughts your thoughts,
His desires your desires –
and then bring them to pass.

I prayed that
everyone who sees you,
who comes into contact with your,
would know that
the favor
and blessing
of Almighty God
rests on you.

I prayed for a heart
so affected by His love
that it shines right through you.

I prayed for you today –

Like I do every day.

©1998